Give it time
In the beginning, it was great. Made the toxic behaviour feel normal as I thought this is how relationships are meant to be. As a second-year university student, I was full of love and energy, never having had a relationship before.
He was a typical romantic who claimed to be madly in love with me. Over time, I began to mistake grand over the top gestures for true love. However, not long after the relationship began, the devaluation started. There was always something wrong with my behaviour. Either I was too extroverted or too quiet, too clingy yet never had time for him, too possessive yet not “territorial” enough. It felt like nothing I did was right. Yet as soon as I was on the verge of giving up, he would swoop in like a knight in shining armour making me question my own reality. The emotional abuse over time got worse, and I felt like I couldn’t leave but I didn’t want to stay either. Any time I tried to talk about his behaviour, I was scared I would trigger something worse.
I thought I was stuck forever with no hope for escape but there is always hope, as long as you keep fighting for yourself. Inner Psych, a telehealth psychologist company in Australia, helped me realize this. I had many sessions with an online psychologist from Inner Psych, talked to my friends, and realized it was time to give myself the importance I deserved. As soon as I started focusing on myself and really understanding boundaries, I felt my life get to a better place. I found the courage to get myself out of a toxic situation and I have never looked back. I felt free, like I was finally in charge of my own life and didn’t have to answer to anyone.
If you’re reading this and have gone through something similar, know that being in a toxic relationshipis NOT the end of the world. The best thing I ever did was starting therapy with an online psychologist and stopped asking questions that would harm my peace of mind.
Questions like
- If he would come back?
- When he would come back?
- If he ever loved me?
- Did he end up realising my value?
These types of questions only end up hurting your own mental health and slow down the recovery process. It is time to focus on yourself and reach out to a telehealth psychologist if you need additional support. Inner Psych has a team of online psychologists in Australia who specialize in telehealth psychology. They can help you navigate the pain, help heal your wounds and allow you to learn to love yourself again.
I know some of you reading this may feel like the healing process will never end, but trust me when I say this, it will get better. Yes, it will take time, but that time heals, and it is essential to give yourself sufficient time to heal. Remember to not have any timeframes as everyone’s journey to recovery is different and everyone heals at their own pace.
Online psychologists at Inner Psych can help you understand how to deal with this pain, learn new coping mechanisms, help you set healthy boundaries and develop healthier relationships in the future.
Remember, people will fall in love with you when you learn to fall in love with yourself. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone who doesn’t need to be told how to behave. Each one of us deserves that.
Remind yourself that it truly doesn’t matter if they realize your true value or not; the real question is, do you recognise your own value?